You know Rock Band. You know you play Rock Band. You know you love it. But how much harder is it to pass a song that you actually can’t stand to listen to? And then when you can’t pass it, you have to keep listening to it over and over and over until you want to smash the guitar and throw your drumsticks at the TV.
Until Harmonix releases the DeSuckify update for Rock Band, I present the top 10 suckiest songs they included in Rock Band (taken from the main setlist, not the bonus songs (they all suck) or downloadable songs (if you pay for crappy music, that’s on you)) in no particular order:
1. Dead on Arrival by Fall Out Boy. At least when I play this song and don’t pass I enjoy hearing Fall Out Boy getting booed off stage.
2. Foreplay/Long Time by Boston. These guys are probably (fore)playing with each other, which is why this endlessly long song sucks. (Get it?)
3. Highway Star by Deep Purple. These guys want to fuck their car. ‘Nuff said.
4. Green Grass and High Tides by The Outlaws. What the hell are these guys singing about? And couldn’t they do it quicker? Hey Outlaws: Long meaningless songs an artist does not make.
5. Welcome Home by Coheed and Cambria. These guys are basically rocker-looking emo artists. So they whine in their songs. Really, who wants to play four and half minutes of crappy whiny music?
6. Flirtin’ with Disaster by Molly Hatchet. Sorry, I thought I bought “Rock Band” not “Crappy Southern Mullet Rockers”.
7. Train Kept A-Rollin’ by Aerosmith. As much as I like Aerosmith, they really should’ve picked a better song to include in this set list. I mean, where’s Dude Looks a Lady, Rag Doll, Janie’s Got a Gun, or even Angel? Why’d they have to pick some horrible unpopular song?
8. Mississippi Queen by Mountain. Although I’ve gotten used to playing this now, I can’t say this is a good song. It’s just playable. I’m just glad I don’t sing it.
9. Paranoid by Black Sabbath. I would’ve preferred Iron Man. Again, don’t give us irrelevant material from artists who have much better songs to offer.
10. Gimme Shelter by The Rolling Stones. I’m not a big Stones fan, and I don’t enjoy playing this song.
Disagree with my list? Sound off in the comments!
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